Did you know
sometimes I wish I could leave my life and start over. Something like the witness protection program. Leave all the baggage and people I know (good and bad) and just restart.
That's what I want to do right now. Just walk away from every single thing that is even remotely connected to my life right now and just begin again. Everything. The people I love, the people I hate, the people I have crushes on and the things I enjoy and the things I hate and the sights and smells and feelings. I want my mind wiped clean, my emotional chalkboard cleanly erased, no powdery white residue left behind: FRESH. Not worry about all the things I have to make sense of. The people that I love and the people that I hate. I'd love to be more organized with my emotions and the things that I think and feel. I wish my mind was more black and white. I wish that I could control the way I feel about people. I wish that I could trust other human beings. I wish I didn't care what other people thought of me and I wish that I could love unconditionally and not over analyze every microparticle of every experience that ever happened to me.
I want to like all aspects of myself and I want others to let me know what they think. I want others to be truthful and I want to be truthful as well. I want to use the word "I" less and say more "You"s and "They"s and "We"s. I want to be stable. I want to be consistent. I want to be reliable and dependable and trustworthy and honest. I want to be someone people enjoy being around; someone to look forward to being around. I want to be happy.
