Dear Jess

World peace would be fabulous! I wish all those things could happen and people could see out of other peoples perspectives. This idea is not lost on me today of all days when I wanted to wish with all my heart that some people could see out of my perspective and on top of that, change their ways too! Of course, that didn't happen, and will not happen, so in my sadness, frustration, and anger of today, I instead spent it shut in my room writing a poem that, suffice it to say, had no purpose other than a distraction. Here it is:

My Mind

Left inside an empty room
To ponder thoughts of many kind
That weigh me down like heavy tomes
Inside this thing I call my mind
With crazy thoughts that bounce around
I’d say it’s like a circus tent
So many things that can’t be found
Still packed away for the next event
The clowns I know are scary thoughts
Laughter, though they try to win
Beneath those masks they’re so distraught
Tiny cars they all fit in
My minds is like a highway too
The traffic changing day to day
With rapid thinkings going through
None can find the time to stay
My anger turns to road rage
Yelling constant words of scorn
This car has turned into a cage
And all around’s a blaring horn
My mind is like a music band
Creations of a lovely kind
All produced from my own hand
Within this thing I call my mind
The saxophone is what I choose
Sweet music sounds and it can be
Anything like jazz or blues
This is creativity
But lingering near I fear’s the block
That hides until you need it least
When time is running from the clock
It dines on your creative feast
He is my mind, I do agree
This loathsome, ugly, cruel big creature
Sometimes he is all I can see
That eats up my creative features
To say the least, my mind’s a feast
With flavors I’ve yet to explore
With cravings roaring like a beast
Somehow I need to fit in more
These cravings become my desires
Unlike real life I’m never full
I’m always always pressing higher
Making real life never dull
My mind is like the endless sky
Stretching far as the eye can see
With no limits I’ll reach so high
Going for eternity
My mind is space, the galaxy
Beautiful without a sound
Stars appear occasionally
Until of course I hit the ground

I’m back inside the empty room
My thoughts and mind back in my head
Words and memories bounce around
As I lay here in my bed

With pencils and eraser bits
All these things I try to find
To describe what all that fits
Inside this thing I call my mind.

Love always,
Sam

Dear Sam

I don't know what it means but I like it:

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she’s blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He’s always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying. “Just take care of my eyes dear.”




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Sometimes I wish that you could give someone you're perspecive or take theirs. That would be cool. It would also be nice for others to be consistant, whether it be nice or mean or tacky or cold or outgoing or shy. I also wish that making friends was as easy now as it was in 1st grade. Where you were happy to be and there were no weird dynamics and gossip and angst. World peace would be nice too...

Dear Sam

I wish that I did cool things like you... Like write huge crazy stories about ficticious characters and such. But alas, maybe it is so we can balance eachother out.

Do you ever have moments where thoughts or emotions overcome you? Like seeing a gorgeous sunrise in first period and, for a second, being totally immersed in the moment and what you see? Sometimes I have moments like that. Today I had one. I all of the sudden have gotten very much into other human beings. I love everyone and it is so much fun! It makes me happy to love other people. Not the romantic love, but loving them for being human and alive and having thoughts and opinons and breathing air.



My moment was today towards the end of rehearsal. Jake came in late because he took a nap after school and slept through the alarm. He didn't join in on the stage combat lesson (he doesn't want to fight anywyays.) So he stayed for about an hour and we just talked and he followed me around helping with some menial work Lloyd needed done. He was very genuine and happy and friendly. There was one point when we were talking and he said something about his dad wanting to sell realestate and he laughed and I looked up at him and he was ridiculously beautiful for those few moments and I was amazed at how beautiful he was.

I know that sounds wacky tacky but that's okay. I like observing people and finding beauty in them. That sounds tacky and all romantic too but that's okay.

The play is going awesome! I am loving every single second of assistant directing. I love being needed and I love helping people and having all the answers. I love making new friends and sharing inside jokes with everyone.

Thanks for the hug yesterday OOO!
So I had a really bad day yesterday (for absolutly NO reason) and I got in the car after rehearsal and cried home. I changed into my pajamas and about 20 minutes later, my dad comes in and askes if I want to talk about it. I said no, and he said that he's always here if I ever change my mind and that he loves me. Then he left. About 15 minutes later he comes back in and askes me if I want to play HALO REACH with him and the fact that that was what he was offering melted my heart and I played with him for 2 hours. I just thought that that was the sweetest thing. His way of showing that he cares in the way that he knows how... Pretty much my dad is the best one EVER

Goodnight
Love,
Jess

Dear Jess,

So, I mentioned NaNoWriMo earlier, and I thought I’d take a post to describe to you what my ‘novel’ is going to be all about.

I got this idea during summer, which wasn’t even much of an idea but more of an image. There was a slender blonde girl wearing a vintage, but simplistic pink dress; one that looked rather odd on her due to her body type.

(imagine this but in a light pastel rose color)

She was standing next to a boy who had black hair with electric blue streaks and eyes the color of fire. Not red colored eyes, but fire colored. They were standing in the middle of a narrow hallway with gold and bronze piping lining the edges and at the end stood a cliché evil villain henchman; big, buff, bald…and clad in leather.

I guess that doesn’t really tell you much about the novel, but for that part, now you know how I came to think of it. Here is the synopsis.

My main character is named Flynn (if you think that name’s weird, we’re just getting started.) He is part of the Creation which are a group of mechanically created humans. The government is completely totalitarian ruled by the man named Beckett Augustine.

During the time/world/alternate reality (whatever it is…I haven’t quite figured that out yet) the totalitarian government has declared ‘reproduction’ illegal. That is, the only way humanity is sustained is by the machines scientifically created. The result is not quite human, but nothing extraordinarily different (their differences don’t come into play as a big part in the novel) the key concept is the fact that the government has restrained the liberty of the people so much as to disallow them from creating new life.

The other main character is named Twilla; her full name is Twillanne Beaumont (yes, I’m intending her full name to sound odd.) She is a result of some Blue Bloods breaking the rules and thus producing Ms. Twillanne. Because of this broken rule, she’s been cooped up in a small room for the 16 years of her existence, so she’s gone a little insane, but not completely. When her parents are found out and slaughtered in front of her, she finds that reading for those 16 years and having nothing better to do than to act out the scenes in her book has allowed her to know how to do strange things…such as kill with ease.

All in all, this story’s about Flynn and Twilla bringing down the corrupt government together, I haven’t really thought about the in-betweens…
That’s my NaNoWriMo!
2,507 words…47,493 to go!
Hopefully I’ll think of those important in-betweens in the meantime!

Love,
Sam

P.S.
Here’s an excerpt from the story:

“She heard another scream, this time sounding deeper than the last, one that was imitating the voice of her father. The heroine character began to peel apart, much like the wallpaper that lined her room. She waited a moment, butterflies beginning to build in her stomach. She let out a giggle again. Butterflies. In her stomach. Poor butterflies."

Dear Jess,

In the next 25 days I will be writing a 50,000 word novel.

It’s the month of November which means for my sister and I, NaNoWriMo! (aka: National Novel Writing Month) This also means another achieved 50, 000 words for my sis…and most likely a feeble attempt from me. For the past couple of years I’ve tried at the competition…and failed miserably. This year I was determined to finish on time but its 5 days into the competition and I still haven’t written a single word! Okay, I’m not giving myself enough credit here; I’ve written approximately 68 words. So this will be my time consuming goal this month. I desperately hope that no more crazy projects will come up in school so I can accomplish it!

On a different note, I am in love with Fall. The other day my sister, my mom, and I went to Snohomish; a town that is the epitome of all things Fall. There we tried on a variety of things…

…like this adorable vintage headband, that was way to small for my head!…

…and another quite vintage pair of glasses.

The stores there are all incredible; vintage, antique, boutique, everything! My favorite part of Snohomish visits is The Pie Shop.




My favorite is always and forever, apple pie.

After we left the town to head home we stopped off at a small vegetable market at a farm with star shaped squash and amazing freshly grown corn. I loved it all!

I’m changing the subject yet again; my head is so full of random thoughts that I can’t even make sufficient transitions to the next one! This subject is not as happy as the others. In fact, it caused a shed tear or two earlier today. I’ve found out that on the premiere of the play is the day that my sister goes off to college. I have two options now. Either go see my sister off to college, and most likely be kicked out of the play. Or stick with the play and miss my sister going to college; the last chance I’ll have to be with her before she's a college girl. My sister is closer to me than anyone else, and I love her so much that there’s no way I’m missing this…but the play is something I’ve always wanted to do! I feel like there’s no way out of this situation but its 2 months away right now…hopefully luck will be on my side and something will happen to allow me both experiences…

Love forever,
Sam

P.S.
I’m convinced that you, Jessica, will be the new Dr. Seuss with those mad poetry skills!

Story Time: Jake

This is my favorite picture of him. He really is an attractive human being, but he has a hard time being serious. His facebook is overflowing with pictures of him being a doofus... but that's okay.
His name is Jake Hackett and he is the oldest of three total children. He has a little sister named Lauren who is a freshman this year. I saw her at the very beginning of the school year and I thought that she looked really familiar and super pretty. Turns out their related and pretty-ness runs in the family. Jake is super weird. He can do any voice and has endless quotes from TV shows and movies memorized. He is really actually quite shy but you would never guess that from seeing him on stage. He has stomach problems and he can't eat some stuff like chocolate and greasy foods otherwise it hurts and he's always hungry and tired. Ms.Lloyd severely dislikes him. I wrote a poem about him yesterday in preparation for the "Like my status and I'll write you a poem" thing. Here it is

what can I say

dearest Jake
Walking into drama
It's like a piece of cake

I can't wait to hear you sing

at Madrigal Feast

You're the freaking King

You surely will beast

but it's not just acting

or singing on stage

writing it all down

would fill up the page

your drawings

I think they're perfect

creative genius

they do reflect

characters like Barnett Lloyd

and the crab man Graglor

eating the poor cat

I want to hear more

(what happened to him?

the terrified cat

Did Graglor finish

or did he scat?)

And the imitations

a new one every day

No one, is impossible

No limit to what you say

Ms.Lloyd

[that dragon lady]

she may not like you

but that's just shady

Jake may be lazy

but that's okay

Pretty sure sponge bob

Wouldn't have it any other way

I'm so excited

you're doing Conk TV

A hilarious addition

you definitely will be

Oh, and Mr.Hackett

you smell quite good

Like clean shaving cream

Not dirty from the hood

That's all I have so far. His drawings are awesome... He's super funny in a quirky way and he's one of those kids who's [sadly] invisible most of the time. People just don't hear him when he talks even though he's not quiet, he blends into the background and no one notices. I was in WOZ with him for like 6 months and I don't really remember him at all... except for one time when I was jigsawing outside and he and Carlos were upset at Ms.Lloyd and venting about it. I wish that I had noticed him before. I think he's pretty cool.

But it's weird because I feel like his mother. I am always trying to make sure that he doesn't get in trouble with Lloyd again, I don't want him to be hungry that's why I invited him to be part of our Anti-LittleCaesars group... I totally "held-his-hand" all day today at set building and did everything for him. When he gets tired he shuts down, when I get tired I go crazy. He was extra tired today. Probably partly because Ms.Lloyd was super mean today in drama when we performed our scene together. It's one thing to act, and it's another to sit through 20 minutes of criticism. Both take it out of you... Hopefully things will all work out for the best in the end.

Story Time part 1

So as you know, David got himself a girlfriend. But that's okay because he still talks to me and we're still friends and I am friends with his girlfriend. Funny enough her name is Jessica... Today in Psych we were partners for being blind. He came all the way to the back and sat behind me. He was blind first. He talked to me very... nicely. I didn't wear any makeup today and he told me I looked nice. Then when I was blind he drew on my back with his finger. I don't know how to make that sound not awkward. But It wasn't and he said that he liked my cardigan and it's crazy pattern. That was a really good period.

Lots of people said that I looked really nice/pretty/gorgeous and stuff and I thought that that was funny because I didn't wear any makeup and I was thinking about how I like my face with makeup and everybody else (LOTS of boys) said that I looked nice without it... So that made me wonder what I look like with it on to them, and what I look like with out it to them.

Now I want to tell you ALL about Jake. But he deserves his own post, so now I shall bid thee aideu