Dearest Sam

Here's a quick list of actual examples of what NOT to put on your resume when applying for a job thanks to careerbuilder.com:
* Candidate put God down as a reference (no phone number).
* Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
* Candidate claimed to be a direct descendant of the Vikings.
* Candidate’s email address had “lovesbeer” in it.
I have not posted in the longest time... lots has happened and I'm going to stick with bullet points so I don't have to worry about fluency and my brain can be dumped.

• I don't really like Jake anymore at all. But the sad thing is is that we aren't really even friends anymore. We don't ever talk and he doesn't really sit at our lunch table for very long. He leaves early with Jon. Jon has stopped talking to me altogether for reasons unknown. It's been about 3 or 4 weeks since he decided to stop acknowledging my existence and it's really weird. We went from talking ALL the time to now he won't even look at me or say hi back when I say hi to him. Nick and I don't really talk either since he unloaded on me. And the sad thing is that I was so excited to be friends with all of them and I worked really hard for over half the year and I lost it all in a short couple of weeks. I woke up from my nap today and I just felt really sad about it.

Today I successfully donated blood in 8 minutes! Last time I donated blood I was dehydrated and it took me 40 minutes to not get enough blood in the bag to donate so they had to throw it away. This time I drank 72 oz of water all throughout the day. The nurses were super nice and I got a blue arm wrap. Now I am pretty tired and easily put out of breath but it is still exciting and worth it nontheless. Do you donate blood? Or is that not your thing?

After donating blood I went to Trappers Sushi with my dad and it was super delicious! I ate waay to much though and had an intesnse food baby and the post-binge snoozies. I took a 3 hour nap when I got home.

• 
  I have decided to take a break year in between highschool and college. I want to go and stay with my aunt and uncle in Utah so I can get in state tuition for University of Utah and earn money for college and possibly other things ;) I will be able to drive and hopefully get my own car and a job. I still have to talk it over with my parents (which will not be happening for a while) and then my aunt and uncle.

• I wrote you a letter during class the other day but it was so ugly it got deep 6'd. My handwriting, if not decorative, has been deteriorating. One of the most important things to tell you was if you wanted to set a goal date to go for coffee. How's the friday after spring break. I don't get back from Hawaii till 6 am on wednesday the week back. Cutter's point is really good, so is starbucks. Let me know what works :)

• This past weekend there was a youth conference I went to at Faith Baptist called Ignition. It was extremely fun and even though I don't really agree with all their doctrine I still really loved it. Hanging out with Heather and all the bible study friends was great.

• Speaking of hanging out with Heather, last Wednesday Ms.Lloyd was not here (her sister died) and we had Mama G as our sub. There was also a multi school band competitiong in the PAC so in stage tech we had nothing to do but sit and wait with all the band geeks in the lobby. It was a gorgeous sunny day and we weren't doing anything and being stuck inside was driving us crazy. All of the sudden Heather said "Let's leave." And I was all for it so we picked up our back packs and walked out the front door of the lobby just after attendence was taken so we weren't even missed. We walked to her house over by Mattson because she doesn't usually drive her car to school because she lives so close. Then we hopped in her car and got gas and then went over to Cutter's Point for coffee/frappuccinos and it was so much fun! Obviously we are a tad nerdy and goody goody because we couldn't get over the fact that we were so rebel for skipping school. It was nice to get out because at that time I was grounded. I texted my mom telling her that Heather was going to give me a ride home from school. I still haven't told her and I don't think I will for a long time. I think that highschool is the time to have some safe fun and being "sneaky" (not really that sneaky seeing as that was the first time I had ever legitimately skipped school and I've never snuck out of the house.) It was good. And I didn't get in trouble at all :)

• I am starting to compile my Spring and Summer music collections. In sewing we have a class "DJ" for the days we sew. This kid named Tanner got to pick the music the other day and he typed in Matt and Kim into pandora and all the music was uber wonderful! My favorite is something good can work by Two Door Cinema Club. Florence and the Machine is good as well as Phoenix and Mumford and Sons and Matt and Kim.

• This summer we should take a trip into seattle via train!
  Lent began March 9th. I don't even know if I have officially told you yet but I decided to give up chocolate for the 40 days. It has been going pretty good. At first I started having dreams where I would start eating chocolate and then halfway through chewing remember that it was taboo and I would spit it out. Even my Psyche is all for this sacrifice :)

• Recently I got on a documentary kick. I watched one on Meth, North Korea, "War Made Easy", Stress, Steroids, The science behind Evil, one on M13 the gang. I cannot think of anymore at the moment. I did find the one you were talking about last time, "The Corporate Side of Birthing" and am going to watch it after I finish this post. I'll tell you all about it :)
  
• Stephanie Bush's Dad died today. It was really sad and I think that this will be my first funeral.

• I am going to try to post everyday from Hawaii, so sorry in advance for the mini monopolation... well, that's only if you don't post in between which you should do.
  Well I do believe that is all. I hope you have a great rest of your week and I hope to hear from you soon!
  Lot's o love (Soon to be from Hawaii)

Jessica

Just a Quick Thought

My seminary teacher told us a story one morning about him and his brothers and crackerjacks. He was selling chocolates for a boyscout fundraiser and they cost about 25 cents. Well he lived near a drugstore that sold crackerjacks for 10 cents. He really wanted some and so did his brothers. They thought up an ingenious plan: when they got to the next persons house they would simply raise the price of the chocolate by 10 cents and then sweep off the profits and spend it on some crackerjacks. They did just that. They told the lady that now the chocolates were 35 cents. She, in passing, made a comment about remembering that they were less last year, but she trusted them. The boys then promptly marched themselves over to the drugstore where they proceeded to, a little less than, enjoy their crackerjacks. They broke her trust. Nearly 50 years later what he had done that summers day still stuck with him and nearly 50 years later he was given the opportunity, through a business trip, to right his wrong; An oppourtunity he gratefully took.

Do you ever have times when you do things that stick in your mind? Like something that you said or did to another person, or a way that you acted, that just stuck with you. And continued to nag at you the entire day until you did something about it. What you did or said didn't even have to be a big deal, they might not have even noticed it but you did?

That happened to me today. During lunch Anisha wanted to do some filming for Conk TV at lunch and she asked me to go with her. I don't care about Stefano, I don't watch American Idol and I didn't really want to have to bother. But of course I said yes. We couldn't find any upperclassmen who were brave enough to be on smartboards across campus, and then I spotted them: a group of giggling, giddy, classic jock/prep sky-high (Varsity volleyball players that had at least 6 inches on me) freshmen. I pointed them out to Anisha, promising that they would never miss out on the opportunity to follow the stereotype.

So she asked them. Lauren Hackett, Jake's "little" sister was in the threesome and I actually think that she's super pretty and her family rocks. I wasn't very nice and was actually pretty snippy and sarcastic. The entire day I thought about how I wanted to be friends with everybody and try to be the nicest person I could all the time and be known for being nice and safe and consistent and positive; All I could think about was how bad of a person I showed myself off to be.

It stuck with me all day. Through the rest of APLaC, into sewing, past stage tech, persisting through sewing club and finally throughout Set building until I finally got to a computer and had the chance to send her a short little apology on facebook. She probably didn't even really care enough to notice and it's not like we're friends or anything. But that makes it all the worse because those little glimpses, unlike a friend, is all they see. My note went a little like this:

Hey, I just wanted to apologize for being rude at lunch today.

I didn't mean to be so sarcastic and snippy and even

though I don't know you very well I still feel kind of bad.

So I'm sorry and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!

For a split second I was worried that she'd think I was a creep or something but then I realized
"Who cares!?"

At this point in life I care more about my mental and emotional well being than some other stranger's opinion of me. And if she thinks I'm crazy for apologizing, then looks like we weren't meant to be friends anyways and life will go on :) And I will feel better about myself for doing it.

And besides. There's only one opinion that really matters anyways and he doesn't frown upon apologies ;)

Dearest Sam

Bullet points are so wonderful so I'm going to use some here!

Coffee has been wonderful! I have recently discovered it and it is a magical and delicious substance! And I really want to check out local coffee joints. Specifically, Zola's Coffee. Jake's mom Diane and some of her family members have a band called Hired Help and they sing at Zola's sometimes and I really want to go and hear them. Diane Whale Hackett is such an amazing woman and I think she is awesome and I really want to be her friend. I doubt that's going to go very far, but I have some tricks up my sleeve. She made Tolo a million times easier and she has always been so nice to me in general. Hired Help is singing on March 25th and 26th from 7-9 pm. We should go get dinner there :) And we can work on planning our road trip in greater detail.

• Nick Santiago and I have been hanging out a lot more lately. I am worried that he may think that I like him, which I don't. But either way, we went on another walk together today. This time, instead of walking our usual route (From my house to High Point, around that neighborhood, out back to the main road, down to Savannah, through that neighborhood out to the back road with the church on it. Then down that street back to the main road that goes towards the FOSS roundabout, then back to my house.) we went to Timberlane and went to his old house. At first it was really hard for me to change the route and be okay with going a different way, but things ended up being fine. It was right next to Cedar Valley Elementary School. When we walked up to it the new owner was working in the yard. Being the social butterfly Nick is he struck up a conversation and we ended up getting invited in to see what the man had done to the house. He originally planned to only live there for 2 years, flip the house and then sell it. Bummer for him because the market soon plunged and he's been there for the past 6 years. He plans on moving to Alabama soon and opening his own hot yoga joint there with his ex-girlfriend who is still his business partner. He was an older man and at first I thought he seemed super nice, but once in his house I was getting some super creepy vibes and ended up being extremely grateful that Nick was there. The whole time something was telling me to run. It was like fight or flight and I was feeling the flight urge bad. But everyone walked away without anything happening and that was good. It was fun to see Nick's old house and the man's decorating style.


• Acne, this past week, has waged war on my face. It has been an intricate schedule of drying Acne cream, Lotion for the dry skin, Aloe vera for the irritated skin and waiting. Lots of courage has gone towards getting up every morning and going to school. At first it was just annoying and painful, but by the end of the week I was starting to feel truely ugly and I didn't like what I looked like. One day a weird orangey rash broke out on my face where I had been putting the Acne cream. My face hurt because new zits would break out during the day and they were deep. So my confidence took a hit and I have a Dermatologist appointment on tuesday. Which was a miracle actually! Before appointments would have to be scheduled 3 months out. My mom called, expecting more of the same, but it turned out that she had decided to stop accepting new patients and our appointment was scheduled less than a week out! I'm very excited :)
• ROCK AND WORSHIP ROADSHOW!!! It was so unbelievably perfect and I loved every second of it. We were supposed to leave from Faith Baptist church at 4. My mom and I were fighting and things were pretty crappy. I almost decided to scratch the whole concert thing and just stay home I was so frusterated. However, I told myself that I would regret not going and that it could end up being really good and just what I needed. I am so glad that I went becuase it was exactally what I needed. The lyrics were so powerful and perfect. The main minister man even gave a 15 minute mini sermon about how we're all beautiful all the time. That GOD already loves us more than we can imagine and that when we look in the mirror and hate what we see it breaks GODS heart because we are his masterpeices and he loves what he made and he is proud of each of us and wants us to feel the same about his work and what he has spent so much time and love creating.
  
• Today I decided that I didn't want to go to church at all. So I texted Heather at 7 this morning that I wasn't going to be able to make it this morning and then I went back to sleep until noon! And it was wonderful. It was sunny and wonderful and then, when 1 rolled around, I didn't go to my church either. And you know what? It felt good.

• Therapist: I cannot tell you how much I love my therapist! She is such a wonderful lady and I really think that she has helped me through what has been the hardest year of my life so far. Teenager years are already hard as it is and then when you add religious issues and confidence and crappy friends and trying to sort out weird emotions that you've never felt before... it can get pretty crazy. And I can tell her anything and get advice from her and that's her job! To give advice and to help you think about issues in a different way than you normally would and give techniques on how to handle different problems and reccomend things like mood stabilizers and such. (Which, by the way, SAM-e has been really great.) I just really enjoy getting to talk to her and bringing my problems to her for her opinion on them.

My life is awesome and I just have been really happy lately and I realized that I needed to post about it because not good times are probably going to be coming. Bad times are scary but this time I will be prepared.