Just a Quick Thought

My seminary teacher told us a story one morning about him and his brothers and crackerjacks. He was selling chocolates for a boyscout fundraiser and they cost about 25 cents. Well he lived near a drugstore that sold crackerjacks for 10 cents. He really wanted some and so did his brothers. They thought up an ingenious plan: when they got to the next persons house they would simply raise the price of the chocolate by 10 cents and then sweep off the profits and spend it on some crackerjacks. They did just that. They told the lady that now the chocolates were 35 cents. She, in passing, made a comment about remembering that they were less last year, but she trusted them. The boys then promptly marched themselves over to the drugstore where they proceeded to, a little less than, enjoy their crackerjacks. They broke her trust. Nearly 50 years later what he had done that summers day still stuck with him and nearly 50 years later he was given the opportunity, through a business trip, to right his wrong; An oppourtunity he gratefully took.

Do you ever have times when you do things that stick in your mind? Like something that you said or did to another person, or a way that you acted, that just stuck with you. And continued to nag at you the entire day until you did something about it. What you did or said didn't even have to be a big deal, they might not have even noticed it but you did?

That happened to me today. During lunch Anisha wanted to do some filming for Conk TV at lunch and she asked me to go with her. I don't care about Stefano, I don't watch American Idol and I didn't really want to have to bother. But of course I said yes. We couldn't find any upperclassmen who were brave enough to be on smartboards across campus, and then I spotted them: a group of giggling, giddy, classic jock/prep sky-high (Varsity volleyball players that had at least 6 inches on me) freshmen. I pointed them out to Anisha, promising that they would never miss out on the opportunity to follow the stereotype.

So she asked them. Lauren Hackett, Jake's "little" sister was in the threesome and I actually think that she's super pretty and her family rocks. I wasn't very nice and was actually pretty snippy and sarcastic. The entire day I thought about how I wanted to be friends with everybody and try to be the nicest person I could all the time and be known for being nice and safe and consistent and positive; All I could think about was how bad of a person I showed myself off to be.

It stuck with me all day. Through the rest of APLaC, into sewing, past stage tech, persisting through sewing club and finally throughout Set building until I finally got to a computer and had the chance to send her a short little apology on facebook. She probably didn't even really care enough to notice and it's not like we're friends or anything. But that makes it all the worse because those little glimpses, unlike a friend, is all they see. My note went a little like this:

Hey, I just wanted to apologize for being rude at lunch today.

I didn't mean to be so sarcastic and snippy and even

though I don't know you very well I still feel kind of bad.

So I'm sorry and I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!

For a split second I was worried that she'd think I was a creep or something but then I realized
"Who cares!?"

At this point in life I care more about my mental and emotional well being than some other stranger's opinion of me. And if she thinks I'm crazy for apologizing, then looks like we weren't meant to be friends anyways and life will go on :) And I will feel better about myself for doing it.

And besides. There's only one opinion that really matters anyways and he doesn't frown upon apologies ;)